Unleashing the Power of Your 6 Human Needs (The 6 Human Needs)

 All of us have the same problems because we all have the same 6 human needs. These needs are paradoxical—they seem to be in conflict with one another. Serious problems can arise when we choose destructive tools or vehicles to try to satisfy these needs. Instead, we can choose to establish new patterns of fulfilling our needs that will move us rapidly toward life mastery.

All human beings have the need for:

1. Certainty - For most people, certainty equals survival. We all need a sense of certainty that the roof will hold above our heads, that the floor will hold beneath our feet and that we can avoid pain and gain pleasure.

How do we meet the need for certainty? Some people try to achieve it by reaching for things that make them certain they can be comfortable: food, drugs, alcohol or cigarettes. Others find it by submersing themselves in their work or by trying to control everything around them—their environment or other people. These are usually Class 3 experiences (they may feel good for the moment but are not good for you, are not good for those around you and do not serve the greater good). 

On the other hand, using your internal courage or faith to achieve certainty would be a Class 1 experience. When you’re feeling courageous, when you’re using your faith, you tend also to do those things that serve the greater good.

2. Uncertainty/Variety - Everyone needs variety, a surprise, a challenge to feel fully alive and to experience fulfillment. With too much certainty, we’re bored. Likewise, with too much variety, we become extremely fearful and concerned. 

There’s a delicate balance between these two needs that must be struck for us to feel truly fulfilled. We need a degree of certainty in our lives to appreciate the variety. Some people choose negative ways of getting variety, like using drugs or alcohol to change their emotional states or they way they feel. Others choose neutral vehicles, like watching movies. Still others use positive vehicles, like stimulating conversation and opportunities to learn.

3. Significance - We all have a need for significance, the sense that we are unique in some way, that our lives have a special purpose or meaning. We can try to meet this need through destructive vehicles—for example, making ourselves unique by manufacturing a belief that we’re better than everyone else or by developing extreme problems that set us apart. Medical science now shows that some people have even developed the subconscious ability to make themselves ill in order to gain the caring attention of others. This would clearly be a Class 4 experience.

Some people develop uniqueness by earning more money, having more “toys,” going to school and achieving more degrees or dressing in a unique way and having a certain sense of style. Some choose to live lives of extraordinary service, a positive Class 1 experience that may feel like Class 2 at times.

We all need to feel unique. But paradoxically, to feel unique we have to separate ourselves from other people. If we feel totally unique, we feel different and separate, which violates our need for..

4. Love and Connection - All of us as human beings need to feel connected with ourselves as well as others with whom we can share our love.

To meet this need, you can join a group or a club that has a positive purpose. Some people join gangs, which have negative purposes but still provide that sense of connection. Some people feel immediate connection by aligning with their Creator and feeling like they’re being guided. People will steal, take drugs or drink excessive amounts of alcohol to be part of a group and feel a sense of connection. Others will perform at extraordinary levels in order to be accepted, loved or connected to a high-performance team.

As with all 6 Human Needs, if you give consistently that which you wish to receive, you will tend to get it back from others. 

5. Growth - Growth equals life. On this planet, everything that is alive is either growing or dying. It doesn’t matter how much money you have, how many people acknowledge you or what you have achieved . . . unless you feel like you’re growing, you will be unhappy and unfulfilled. But you must also be able to experience the euphoria of meaningful . . .

6. Contribution - We all have a deep need to go beyond ourselves and to live a life that serves the greater good. In the moments that we do this, we experience true joy and fulfillment. Contributing not only to others but to ourselves is a meaningful action, for we cannot give to others that which we do not have. A balance of contribution to oneself and to others, especially unselfish contribution, is the ultimate secret to the joy that so many people wish to have in their lives.

How do you try to get growth and contribution in your life? List some of the things you do to obtain the feeling that you are growing and contributing—to yourself, to others, to the world at large.