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The Ultimate Love of Your Life

The quality of your relationships is in direct proportion to the amount of yourself you are able to share. Sharing produces a synergy where one plus one equals more than two.

• Go to a relationship to give, not to get.  Measuring and remembering who gives more is a surefire way to kill a relationship. When driven by rules instead of love, relationships begin to die.

• Keep your rules to a minimum. Too many rules can destroy a relationship. Upsets occur easily when you have too many ways to feel bad.

• Help your partner meet his or her needs. Although we go about meeting them in different ways, we all have the same six needs. Passionate relationships occur when both partners feel that their needs are met.

• Understand the importance of awareness and acceptance. Be aware that all human beings share the same two primary fears: that they are not enough and that they won’t be loved. Primary fears are triggered anytime you feel like you’re not being seen as significant enough or you fear the loss of love. If you’re starting to react, ask yourself, “What’s really triggering this fear? Am I responding to the present or the past? What else could this mean?” 

How to Create an Extraordinary Relationship

1. Learn to Love Yourself 

You can’t give to other people what you haven’t learned to give yourself. Write at least 10 things you can do to show how much you love yourself (Do my Hour of Power, 30 Minutes to Thrive or 15 Minutes to Fulfillment; acknowledge myself for being great; write myself a love letter; go to places I love).

2. Select the Qualities You Need in a Relationship

Relationships last when both people have the same or complementary natures. Follow the example set by business leaders, and consider three things in evaluating a potential relationship (business or personal):

•Can they do the job? Can they be your partner? 
•Will they do the job? The answer will be yes if the job or relationship meets their personal goals and reinforces their nature. 
•Are they the right fit in terms of values? In a personal relationship, is there a match in terms of goals, values, sensuality or sexuality?

Organizing Principles
• The most important part of selection is to first become the kind of person you want to attract in your relationship. 
• It is unlikely a person’s nature is going to change. Know who you are in a relationship with. 
• If you are in a relationship with the right person for you and you are still having challenges, you can re-ignite the passion.

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