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Three Choices

When we are unhappy and our Life Conditions do not match our Blueprint, we have three choices as to how we’re going to handle the challenge:


First Choice: Blame

The first choice people have is to assign blame, and there are three things you can blame:

a) Event. There’s a story, something that happened, behind why things are the way they are. However accurate the story may be, blaming an event is convenient because it helps preserve an identity designed to shield us from our true fears: fear of failure and fear of not being loved or accepted.

b) Others. “I’m in this situation because this person …” Similarly, the story may be true, but it’s convenient and gives you comfort in the moment. “There’s nothing wrong with me. It’s this other person. There’s nothing I need to change.” 

c) Yourself. Most people think that this is being responsible, but blaming yourself will not make it better. There’s a difference between responsibility and beating yourself up—between “Here’s a pattern that I’ve got to change” and “I’m not good enough.”


Second Choice: Change Your Life Conditions 
Take a new action, something that will help you make significant progress. If you want to have happiness, you have to understand one thing: progress = happiness. If you feel like you’re making progress in an area of your life, you will start to be pleased in that area. You start to get more focused and specific about what you want to change, and you build momentum toward the results you want. If, for example, you want to open your own business, find an achiever to mentor you. Get focused on why you want to make the change and commit to something new in your life.

Third Choice: Change Your Blueprint
Sometimes things are outside of your control, but you CAN control how you configure your rules about how things should be. Your happiness is going to be limited if you want success but aren’t willing to ever be judged or want love but distrust the opposite sex. Sometimes adjusting your Blueprint means compromising some of your rules that are difficult for you and others to live up to or are simply impossible to fulfill.

When it comes to the three choices you face on how to handle a problem, the first choice isn’t really a choice at all. Blame leaves you stuck, spinning your wheels with no options to change as you tell yourself, “There’s nothing I can do about it because …” We all use blame at times, but the quicker you can get out of it, the faster you’ll be empowered to either change your life conditioning or change your perspective, both of which are real, tangible options that can instantly transform a relationship, your career, your finances or your life.  




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