Over time, the cues that spark our habits become so common that
they are essentially invisible: the treats on the kitchen counter, the
remote control next to the couch, the phone in our pocket. Our
responses to these cues are so deeply encoded that it may feel like the
urge to act comes from nowhere. For this reason, we must begin the
process of behavior change with awareness.
Before we can effectively build new habits, we need to get a handle
on our current ones. This can be more challenging than it sounds
because once a habit is firmly rooted in your life, it is mostly nonconscious and automatic. If a habit remains mindless, you can’t
expect to improve it. As the psychologist Carl Jung said, “Until you
make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will
call it fate.”
The more automatic a behavior becomes, the less likely we are to
consciously think about it. And when we’ve done something a
thousand times before, we begin to overlook things. We assume that
the next time will be just like the last. We’re so used to doing what
we’ve always done that we don’t stop to question whether it’s the right
thing to do at all. Many of our failures in performance are largely
attributable to a lack of self-awareness.
One of our greatest challenges in changing habits is maintaining
awareness of what we are actually doing. This helps explain why the
consequences of bad habits can sneak up on us. We need a “point-andcall” system for our personal lives. That’s the origin of the Habits
Scorecard, which is a simple exercise you can use to become more
aware of your behavior. To create your own, make a list of your daily
habits.
Here’s a sample of where your list might start:
Once you have a full list, look at each behavior, and ask yourself, “Is
this a good habit, a bad habit, or a neutral habit?” If it is a good habit,
write “+” next to it. If it is a bad habit, write “–”. If it is a neutral habit,
write “=”.
The marks you give to a particular habit will depend on your
situation and your goals. For someone who is trying to lose weight,
eating a bagel with peanut butter every morning might be a bad habit.
For someone who is trying to bulk up and add muscle, the same
behavior might be a good habit. It all depends on what you’re working
toward.
There are no good habits or bad habits. There are only effective habits.
That is, effective at solving problems. All habits serve you in some way
—even the bad ones—which is why you repeat them.
For this exercise,
categorize your habits by how they will benefit you in the long run.
Generally speaking, good habits will have net positive outcomes. Bad
habits have net negative outcomes. Smoking a cigarette may reduce
stress right now (that’s how it’s serving you), but it’s not a healthy
long-term behavior.
If you’re still having trouble determining how to rate a particular
habit, here is a question I like to use: “Does this behavior help me
become the type of person I wish to be? Does this habit cast a vote for or against my desired identity?” Habits that reinforce your desired
identity are usually good. Habits that conflict with your desired
identity are usually bad.
As you create your Habits Scorecard, there is no need to change
anything at first. The goal is to simply notice what is actually going on.
Observe your thoughts and actions without judgment or internal
criticism. Don’t blame yourself for your faults. Don’t praise yourself for
your successes.
If you eat a chocolate bar every morning, acknowledge it, almost as
if you were watching someone else. Oh, how interesting that they
would do such a thing. If you binge-eat, simply notice that you are
eating more calories than you should. If you waste time online, notice
that you are spending your life in a way that you do not want to.
The first step to changing bad habits is to be on the lookout for
them. If you feel like you need extra help, then you can try Pointingand-Calling in your own life. Say out loud the action that you are
thinking of taking and what the outcome will be. If you want to cut
back on your junk food habit but notice yourself grabbing another
cookie, say out loud, “I’m about to eat this cookie, but I don’t need it.
Eating it will cause me to gain weight and hurt my health.”
Hearing your bad habits spoken aloud makes the consequences
seem more real. It adds weight to the action rather than letting
yourself mindlessly slip into an old routine. This approach is useful
even if you’re simply trying to remember a task on your to-do list. Just
saying out loud, “Tomorrow, I need to go to the post office after lunch,”
increases the odds that you’ll actually do it. You’re getting yourself to
acknowledge the need for action—and that can make all the difference.
The process of behavior change always starts with awareness.
Strategies like Pointing-and-Calling and the Habits Scorecard are
focused on getting you to recognize your habits and acknowledge the
cues that trigger them, which makes it possible to respond in a way
that benefits you.
Chapter Summary
-With enough practice, your brain will pick up on the cues that
predict certain outcomes without consciously thinking about it.
-Once our habits become automatic, we stop paying attention to
what we are doing.
-The process of behavior change always starts with awareness. You
need to be aware of your habits before you can change them.
-Pointing-and-Calling raises your level of awareness from a
nonconscious habit to a more conscious level by verbalizing your
actions.
-The Habits Scorecard is a simple exercise you can use to become
more aware of your behavior.
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